Snippets

Larry Summers, former Harvard President and former Secretary of the Treasury, said that he would be stepping back from public commitments after a release of emails between him and Jeffrey Epstein showed that Summers stayed in touch with Epstein even after the pedophile was convicted. Summers said, “I am deeply ashamed of my actions and recognize the pain they have caused. I take full responsibility for my misguided decision to continue communicating with Mr. Epstein.” Of course, he should have felt the same shame a week, a month, a year ago. His actions that supposedly bring the shame had already occurred. Apparently as long as the emails weren’t public, he was not ashamed.

The girl in the comic strip asks how best to deal with A.I., and Lars, the space alien, responds, “Become an oligarch.” She asks how to do that, and Lars says that this planet’s requirements are “you need to be a white male narcissist with inherited wealth and live in a country run like a banana republic.” She mutters, “Well, I got one out of three, so it’s a start.”

A coupon urged me to buy beef sticks because they contained “real ingredients.”

All my life I have heard conservatives rail against big government, but I have never been sure of the definition of “big government.” Apparently, food stamps or a subsidy to the poor is big government, but a tariff and/or owning a share in a private company, another form of governmental subsidy, is apparently not big government. Why is that?

A member of the book group denounced a novel “as written for money.” I thought the greatest writers—e.g., Shakespeare and Dickens—wrote for money. Perhaps the only authors who do not write for money are academics, and I assure you that even many of them dream of dollar signs.

“Socialism” is thrown around as an epithet a lot these days. So is “communism.” I wish that those who did so would define the terms, or does it just mean something the person does not like?

Tim Weiner in The Mission: The CIA in the 21st Century quotes David Petraeus: “You really should have a deep understanding of a country and all aspects of it before you invade it.” I hope this is kept in mind as Trump considers actions in Venezuela. It didn’t work out very well in Iraq.

As Ian Frazier was signing my copy of his latest book, Paradise Bronx: The Life and Times of New York’s Greatest Borough, I told him I had been his admirer since Great Plains written more than thirty years ago. He thanked me, and I continued that Paradise Bronx, too, was marvelous . . . except for the ludicrous subtitle. “You didn’t like the subtitle?” I explained that I had been a Brooklyn boy for over a half century. He continued that the subtitle had not been his but the choice of his editors.

I am fascinated by those religious institutions that allow so many to feel self-righteous by making the lives of others so much worse.

A perspicacious person said: “A bigot delights in public ridicule, for he begins to think he is a martyr.”

The Snippets of Death

While I was having a heart event, I thought that I was being whisked down a long, dark tunnel. I could do nothing to prevent my movement. Finally, I saw a blue light at the end of the darkness. It started to pulse, and I felt myself being pulled even quicker through the tunnel towards the pulsation. But as I started to glide into that abyss, I heard a voice shout, “No!  No!  That’s New Jersey.” I returned to the living.

Ancient cultures always seemed to have many more memorials to death than to birth. Discuss.

“You can live through anything except death.” Svetlana Alexievich, Secondhand Time: The Last of the Soviets.

“The soul will fly home of its accord, but shipping a coffin is pretty expensive.” Svetlana Alexievich, Secondhand Time: The Last of the Soviets.

“An autopsy later revealed that she had died of plaid.” Ian Frazier, Cranial Fracking.

“To die for an idea is to place a pretty high price upon conjectures.” Anatole France, The Revolt of the Angels.

“The man who leaves money to charity in his will is only giving away what no longer belongs to him.” Voltaire.

“Make sure to send a lazy man for the Angel of Death.” Yiddish Proverb.

“All I desire for my own burial is not be buried alive.” Earl of Chesterfield.

“Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.” Steve Wright.

“How many of those dead animals you see on the highway are suicides?” Dennis Miller.

“My uncle Pat reads the paid obituaries in the paper every day. He can’t understand how people always die in alphabetical order.” Hal Roach.

When I die, I want to go like my grandfather . . . in his sleep. Not screaming like the passengers in his car. Old joke.

“It’s a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But, hey, the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones!” Richard Jeni.

Hear about the Newfie who was killed while ice fishing? Got run over by the Zamboni!

“You can’t take it with you. You never see a U-Haul following a hearse.” Ellen Glasgow.

When Bob Hope was dying at the age of 100, his wife asked if he wanted to be buried or cremated. He thought for a while and said, “Surprise me.” (Thanks to SN.)

“If the rich could hire other people to die for them, the poor could make a wonderful living.” Yiddish proverb.

I am not proud that in scanning the obituaries I feel some satisfaction when I find that a vegan has died of cancer.