When I was kid, from what I heard in church, I assumed that Jesus spoke English. I was surprised when I was told that Mary and Joseph did not speak our language. I wondered, then, how Jesus had learned it.
I have read that the song “Silver Bells” was originally called “Tinkle Bells” until the composer’s spouse pointed out the problem.
I received for Christmas a few years ago a specially-made T shirt I had requested. It reads: “TRUMP. HIS MOTHER DID NOT HAVE HIM TESTED.” I am not yet retiring it.
Do we ever refer to a song as a “carol” except for those about Christmas?
“What’s so special about Christmas—the birth of a man who thinks he’s a god isn’t such a rare event.” Graffito.
A Christmas bird dog is called a point setter.
Do you know how to spell the name of that Christmas plant? Does it contain more than one “t”? Does it end with an “a” or “ia”?
Shouldn’t the line really be: “Later on we’ll perspire as we dream by the fire”?
When I bought some camembert, the woman behind the counter said, “What a friend we have in cheeses.”
During a break in the chess matches, the tournament players gathered in the hotel’s lobby and started bragging about their triumphs in past meetings. They were just chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
One of Santa’s helpers tried to commit suicide. He had low elf-esteem.
Santa told me that he will only come if before Christmas he can get a flue shot.
“I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white man would be coming into my neighborhood after dark.” Dick Gregory.
“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.” George Carlin.
Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer, and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred-dollar bill. Who gets it? The old drunk, of course, The other three are mythological creatures.
“How many observe Christ’s birthday! How few his precepts! O! ‘tis easier to keep holidays than commandments.” Ben Franklin, Poor Richard’s Almanack.
