Resolutions

I resolve not to lend my comb to a Labradoodle again.

Since I find the French word amusing, I resolve to use pamplemousse more often.

I resolve to try meditation even though it may give me inner peace.

Even if I do it at the lowest speed, I resolve to never again run the blender with the top off even just to make graham cracker crumbs.

I resolve not to lie more than three—ok, seven—times a day.

I resolve to do something nice for someone else every day. Ok, every week.

I resolve not to be (less) annoyed by vegans.

I resolve to accept that I will not get down to the weight I want.

I resolve to smile more.

I resolve to be less of a wiseass. (Oops. That conflicts with above.)

I resolve to learn the words to the second stanza of The Star-Spangled Banner.

I resolve never to sing the second stanza of The Star-Spangled Banner.

I resolve to produce less polluting waste.

I resolve not to learn how to play mah-jongg. (Sorry, spouse.)

I resolve to make fewer typographicul errorrs.

I resolve to at least in some small way make our politics better.

I resolve to have an open mind about religion.

I resolve to figure out why that when I resolve something I have not made a resolvolution.

I resolve to remember the words of Benjamin Disraeli in Sybil or the Two Nations: “To be conscious you are ignorant is a great step to knowledge.”

I resolve to remember the words of Anne Morrow Lindbergh in A Gift from the Sea: “The most exhausting thing in life, I have discovered, is being insincere.”

I resolve to deepen my sense of wonder.

Snippets

How does a security guard at a nudist colony pin on the badge?

Have you ever cogitated on the coincidence that both your parents were married on the same day?

When Barack Obama ran for reelection, many tried to make him responsible for things, taken out of context, that the minister of his church had said. I confidently predict the Trump will not have to deal with anything the minister of his church has preached.

“Socialism” is thrown around as an epithet a lot these days. I wish that those who did so would define the term, or does it just mean something the person does not like?

“If the rich could hire other people to die for them, the poor could make a wonderful living.” Yiddish proverb.

“Cultural appropriation” is also thrown around a lot as an epithet. I wish those who did so would define the term. On a recent trip, I saw Moroccans wearing hats with the New York Yankees logo (although I don’t remember seeing anyone sporting any other American team insignia) and NYPD caps. I saw McDonalds, Burger Kings, KFC, spaghetti, and tacos. Was this cultural appropriation?

“Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this: that you are dreadfully like other people.” James Russell Lowell, My Study Windows.

          In my running days, I was on a traffic island in the middle of a busy Brooklyn street. I was looking for a break in traffic to get to the southside sidewalk when my right foot awkwardly hit broken pavement, and I turned my ankle. I almost fell and had a brief vision of rolling into the moving cars. I could barely stand up. Although I always ran with money in case I needed a cab to get home, I generally avoid taxis. Instead, I painfully hobbled the mile and a half to the house. In those days, I tried to run every day, but in an uncharacteristic act of sensibility, I stopped running for quite a while. But after days, a week, or maybe two weeks the ankle did not seem better. I was worried that it was more than a sprain and that perhaps I had broken or chipped a bone. I finally went to a doctor. I then had an HMO and saw a doctor I had not met before, a suspiciously young guy to be an M.D. He took x-rays and reported that it was only a soft tissue injury. I protested that it was taking “forever” to heal. He replied, “At your age you have to expect these things.” I thought, “I’m paying you for this advice!”  I was then in my mid-thirties.

“As we grow older we grow both more foolish and wiser at the same time.” La Rouchefoucauld.

I am not proud that in scanning the obituaries I feel some satisfaction when I find that a vegan has died of cancer.