Hey, DOGE, a suggestion for you. A news report said that Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth has government housing. We taxpayers are on the hook for a $49,000 paint job and six figures for renovations. Why? Hegseth has a salary of $235,000, almost three times the median household income in this country. People making as much as Hegseth are responsible for their own housing. Why shouldn’t government workers be, too? DOGE, get an executive order selling off all that housing. How much could we save?

Part of the renovations are apparently for secure information facilities. What? I thought Hegseth was adamant about not working remotely. I assume that he has secure facilities at his office. Is he planning to work at home instead of the office?

Along the same lines, DOGE. How many government workers have a car and driver? We ordinary taxpayers, even if we make $235,000, have to handle our own commutes. Why are government workers better than we are? How much can be saved by jettisoning the cars and drivers? (And do those who have a car and driver pay income tax on the value of that service?)

A wise person said: “There should be a happy medium between government running private business and private business running the government.”

I assumed it was on old sign that read: “Full Service Unisex Hair Care.” Hasn’t Trump outlawed all unisex activities?

We do have savings as the administration follows Mark Twain, who said, “Truth is such a precious article let us all economize in its use.”

I could never be a birder if you have to be able to say “blue-footed booby” without suppressing a smirk or a chuckle. Or “tufted titmouse.”

With all the brouhaha over that gulf, I wonder: Do the French call it the English Channel?

Before going to sleep, I always walk slowly backwards around my bed three times. I do this because it keeps the polar bears away. I know this works because I have never had a nighttime ursine invasion. Some of Trump’s executive orders remind me of my ritual. For example, one EO forbids undocumented aliens from receiving federal benefits. However, before the recent order, the undocumented did not qualify for any such funding, and nothing indicates that the migrants have gotten anything substantial from fraud. In other words, before the order, no federal benefits for the undocumented, and after the order, no benefits for the undocumented. Even so, I expect that the success of the order will be touted. Another example: Trump flamboyantly signed an executive order to end Covid vaccine mandates in public K-12 schools. However, schools do not now have such mandates. I still expect the fanfaronade about the order’s success. And still my slow backward walk has kept the polar bears out of my bedroom. However, I am searching for a way to bring giant pandas in to snuggle up with at night.

Every year—well, three out of four years—I purge and fast on February 29, 30, and 31.